By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

In the United States we seem to be trapped in an "I'm right and that makes you wrong" mentality. We are so caught up in pointing out the flaws of a suggested plan, we fail to notice other possible paths to a solution. Some citizens and politicians even go so far as to hope the opposition’s plan fails. They often do this without offering any alternate solution.

A great example of this is the ongoing debate on how to solve the country's financial crisis. Republicans accuse the Democrats of over-spending and creating big government. Democrats accuse the Republicans of lax fiscal over-sight and catering to special interest groups. The two sides can’t agree on the best path to take to solve the crisis.

I do think we are missing a gem when it comes to helping our teenagers study and pass exams. That gem is the fathers and the important role they can play. In my experience, Dads tend only to get wheeled in if things are going wrong or some kind of reward/punishment needs to be issued. Now I know that is not the same in every house and I am speaking in generalist terms here. However, over and over again in the many families I have worked with, we are not using fathers to their full potential. And I know some of these statements are very stereotypical and they may put the feminine and masculine movement back years, however I think sometimes you just need to say what is – make of it what you will.

Dads, you have important skills your teenagers need. The biggest reason most children fail at exams is simply that they cannot get themselves organised in a logical way and I think that this is where Dads can really shine.

One sociologist, looking over 8,000 years of human history, writes that the measure of wealth is the ability to own a book and be able to read it. Literacy is the ultimate luxury. And yet, in that regard, our country is becoming poorer and poorer.

Instill a love of reading into your children by reading books with them and discussing them as you go along. This could include novels they’re reading in school or supplementary reading. Make your children truly rich in spirit – read with them!

Warmly,

Mark Brandenburg

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC
mark@eqnow.org
www.markbrandenburg.com
www.eqnow.org
Phone (+1) 651-766-9976
"Helping Men Succeed"

Today we are starting a series of 5 interviews with Vicky Ellison, a passionate parent and senior advisor for the Ministry of Social Development's SKIP (Strategies with Kids - Information for Parents) team. We have been working with Vicky on a number of occassions and have marvelled at her wealth of knowledge on child development and her tips and ideas on handling the various challenges our developing children present us with.

In this first of five podcasts Vicky talks about brain development and windows of opportunity for developmental phases. Did you know that at birth a baby's brain is only partially developed and that babies need love and affection as a foundation to enable the brain to develop fully? Find out more fascinating facts about how our babies develop and get some great ideas for how you can help your child reach their full potential.

(to subscribe to our podcasting feed)

-Stefan

Scott, Eric and Stefan recently had an opportunity to spend some time with our local rugby gladiators, the Wellington Lions, to deliver a parenting course for new and expectant dads together with the Ministry for Social Development's SKIP team. We all got together to learn, share and talk about being a great father and how we can help to look after our children. Check out the footage below courtesy of Sky Television.

Watch this space - more to come about our workshops with the Wellington Lions soon!

-Stefan

The 32nd president of the United States, Franklin D. Roosevelt, was related either by blood or by marriage to 11 former presidents. And the majority of Americans are 15th generation descendants from the Mayflower Pilgrims. It’s important for you and your children to know your ancestors. Yet very few of us can even name our great, great grandparents.

So why not assign your kids some homework this summer to find out more about your predecessors? There are many great resources on the Web. Also, have your kids ask their grandparents more about family history and write everything down for your future descendents to benefit.

For a list of questions for grandparents, click here.

Posted with permission from www.allprodad.com

Fred started swimming lessons last week so everyday from 5:30-6 we can be found lounging out by the city’s public pool. When we first started kicking over the idea of Fred learning to swim a couple of things immediately came to mind. 1) We are talking about my son so do we really want him to learn how to swim when walking down the hall without tripping over his own feet is still a problem? I mean I’m 32 and I still fall all the time. 2) Our idea of swimming lessons involves people in red one-piece bathing suits ala Baywatch with whistles around their necks which they use to keep in the kids in order.

Are your kids at an age where they can read and write complete sentences? Rather than just giving them time-out when they misbehave, why not have them put together an essay on what they did wrong and how they will abstain from it in the future?

Writing a paper not only will force your kids to think about their indiscretion, but will enhance their literary skill as well. You may even ask them to do a little research to boot. Make sure the essay is done to the best of their ability. And let them know they are forgiven and loved.

For a free article on how to have your kids write an essay, click here.

Posted with permission from www.allprodad.com

Daniel Patrick Moynihan, a four-term U.S. Senator, passed away a few years ago. But his view on the necessity of fathers lives on. He said: “From the wild Irish slums of the 19th century Eastern seaboard to the riot-torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history: a community that allows a large number of young men to grow up in broken families, dominated by women, never acquiring any stable relationship to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational expectations about the future - that community asks for and gets chaos.”

In fact, the U.S. Census Bureau show the importance of fathers in its statistics on children who grow up in homes without a father. These children are:
-5 times more likely to commit suicide
-32 times more likely to run away
-20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
-14 times more likely to commit rape

What if you had one final lecture to give your children before you departed from this life? What would you say? Dr. Randy Pausch had this privilege.

and while you’re watching his story, reflect that any of your lectures could be your final lecture. Speak to encourage; not humiliate. Words well-spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver.