Do you have a child that’s misbehaving?

This isn’t a child that wants to misbehave; It’s a child that is discouraged. Give him or her encouragement, and allow them a chance to contribute in meaningful ways to the family. Let them know when they’ve behaved the way you’d like them to.

And, spell out clearly what you expect from their behavior.

Kids don’t want to misbehave just to bother you. They do it for a reason - to feel more important, or to get more attention for themselves.

Do you want more misbehavior? Then punish him or her, and see what you get.

Warmly,

Mark Brandenburg

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC
mark@eqnow.org
www.markbrandenburg.com
www.eqnow.org
Phone (+1) 651-766-9976
"Helping Men Succeed"

In 2009 I resolve to stop yelling at my kids.

That is precisely the New Year’s pledge that Marion Budnick broke the first week of the new year. It wasn’t that she didn’t have positive intentions. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to end the yelling. It wasn’t even that she wasn’t sincere about her goal. All of those were firmly in place. Yet something else was missing.

Marion Budnick sincerely wanted to stop yelling at her children, but she had no idea of what to do instead. She knew what she wanted to stop, but she didn’t have an appropriate replacement behavior in mind for when she felt like yelling.

In the last part of our podcasting series on child development and conscious parenting, Stefan and Vicky review the key points from previous podcasts and answer questions from dads - such as "what does object permanence mean"?. Listen and find out!

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-Stefan

One sociologist, looking over 8,000 years of human history, writes that the measure of wealth is the ability to own a book and be able to read it. Literacy is the ultimate luxury. And yet, in that regard, our country is becoming poorer and poorer.

Instill a love of reading into your children by reading books with them and discussing them as you go along. This could include novels they’re reading in school or supplementary reading. Make your children truly rich in spirit – read with them!

Warmly,

Mark Brandenburg

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC
mark@eqnow.org
www.markbrandenburg.com
www.eqnow.org
Phone (+1) 651-766-9976
"Helping Men Succeed"

In part 4 of our podcasting series on child development and conscious parenting, Vicky talks about the six principles of effective discipline which were put together by SKIP. Some great tips there for parents and excellent background information on discipline vs punishment.

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In today's podcast Vicky talks about providing opportunities for children to fully explore a "window of opportunity" for their development. They might be going through a phase of wanting to explore their sorting skills, drawing skills or their concept of cause and effect. So it is great to be able to provide them additional opportunities on top of what they discover themselves. It is also important to ensure that children can satisfy their desire to explore in a safe environment. There are lots of things in our households that we often throw away that could be used for providing those opportunities. Here's a few examples of DIY toys Vicky made herself:

Amazing what you can do with old drink bottles, caps and pieces of string. Check out the toys in detail in our post "How to stimulate your baby's development with home made toys".

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-Stefan

The following DIY toys were made by Vicky Ellison with bits and pieces she found in her household and garage. They are really easy to make and provide hours of fun for your baby / toddler to explore a particular developmental stage.

1) Glitter Bottle
Basically just an empty drinks bottle filled with a colourful liquid (diluted dish washing liquid is quite cool) and some glitter. Is great for young babies to explore how the glitter moves inside the bottle and reflects the light. Make sure the bottle is well closed and doesn't leak (not suitable for toddlers who have worked out how to open bottles).
 

In today's podcast Vicky talks about the importance of repetition for brain development and repetitive patterns of behaviour which researchers/authors Chris Athey and Cathy Nutbrown called "schemas". Very insightful and potentially many "aha" moments for parents wondering why their kids play in a certain way.

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-Stefan

Today we are starting a series of 5 interviews with Vicky Ellison, a passionate parent and senior advisor for the Ministry of Social Development's SKIP (Strategies with Kids - Information for Parents) team. We have been working with Vicky on a number of occassions and have marvelled at her wealth of knowledge on child development and her tips and ideas on handling the various challenges our developing children present us with.

In this first of five podcasts Vicky talks about brain development and windows of opportunity for developmental phases. Did you know that at birth a baby's brain is only partially developed and that babies need love and affection as a foundation to enable the brain to develop fully? Find out more fascinating facts about how our babies develop and get some great ideas for how you can help your child reach their full potential.

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-Stefan

“Bring it on,” I yelled to my kids. “I’ll pin you both at the same time!”

“You think so?” my daughter yelled back. “You’re gonna get what you deserve!” My son came at me from the front, while my daughter snuck around behind me. I spun to the ground, and was assaulted on both sides. It was only a matter of time before they each had a shoulder pinned to the ground.

While they celebrated their victory, I planned my next attack, knowing that the “results” of the battle were far less important than the battle itself.

Do you want to be an effective father?

One of the easiest ways to be effective is to wrestle with your kids. Not only is it loads of fun, but its’ benefits go a long ways towards teaching your kids some valuable lessons.